Excerpt from A Strategic Path to Writing Mastery
TELLING: I call this the art of “Tellography.” An author “tells” the story rather than allow the reader to live it vicariously. In my workshop sessions with my Reno Writing Clinic, I use this example to best illustrate “showing” versus “telling.”
TELLING THROUGH DESCRIPTION
In walking around the Union army encampment, I had to be very careful to act in every way like a man. Dressed in his baggy uniform, my curves hid well. It helped to bind my breasts, too. I had to be careful not to display any female mannerisms. Smoking a cigar and shaving with a dull blade helped project a male persona. In observing my brothers before purchasing my commission, I studied every nuance of their movement. For instance, when they sat with crossed legs, I noticed they were incapable of doing it by placing one knee directly on top of the other. They preferred to lay one calf across the knee. In uncrossed fashion, they never sat with their knees or feet together; and if someone should throw an object in their lap, they would clamp their knees together and dart their hands in front of their groins to catch it.
(This sample created for illustration purposes)
TELLING THROUGH DIALOGUE (“TALKING HEADS”)
Sally and I walked past a line of encamped Union Soldiers.
“Sam, how do you keep the men from discovering your real sex?”
“I bind my chest, but I really owe a lot to the baggy uniform. It hides my curves well.”
Sally stopped and watched two men playing cards on a makeshift table in front of their tent. “That cigar you smoke sure helps dissuade the men from guessing you’re really a woman.”
I pulled it from my mouth and blew a smoke ring. “It took some getting used to. My shaving with a dull razor really helped, too.”
“I’ve never noticed, but men must move different, sit different … how did you master all that?”
We started walking again. “Well, Sally, I studied my brothers carefully before buying my commission. When they sat with crossed legs, I noticed they were incapable of doing it by placing one knee directly on top of the other. They preferred to lay one calf across the knee.”
“Wow, Sam, I never knew that.”
“In uncrossed fashion, they never sat with their knees or feet together.”
“I’m glad I’m just the Daughter of the Regiment and don’t have to think of all that. They accept me as female.”
“Oh, and if someone should throw an object in their lap, men clamp their knees together and fly their hands in front of their groins to catch it.”
“You were smart to figure all that out before coming. I don’t know that I would have done half as well.”
“You do what you must to get what you want. I really wanted to fight in this man’s army.”
(This sample created for illustration purposes)
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